Thursday, August 23, 2012

The big secret: How to Cure Wrinkles. No, seriously, this is IT.

Exhibit A: My normal face.
Note grey roots,
wrinkles on forehead, under  eyes,
around mouth etc. 
This is the big one, folks.. seems like everyone out there wants to cure the problem of having wrinkles once and for all. There's millions and billions of dollars devoted to this cause and it seems the goal of eternal youth is one that cosmetic companies have a lot of stock in.

Well.. I don't want to blow my own trumpet or anything.. but I have the cure. No, really, I do.

Are you listening? Here it is...

First things first - I'll tell what my cure isn't - it's not sensible. It's not something totally normal do to combat wrinkles like.. having botulism toxins injected  into my face for an attractive partial paralysis... it's not having a surgeon slice into me.. it's not having my face burned and zapped with lazers, heat waves, gamma waves or any other fancy zap... it's not even a cream, serum, potion, rub, or salve.

No, my solution is radical. totally out there. off the wall.. off the charts.. over the top.

It's simply this. I accept my wrinkles as a natural part of the aging process.. and as such.. NOT INTRINSICALLY EVIL.

I know, right? What the hell am I thinking??!

Well, I'm thinking this.

I'm going to be forty next year, and amazing but true I don't look the way I did when I was seventeen. I have grey hair (saves me on bleach and makes my dye more vibrant, awesome!), and I have wrinkles.

Most of my wrinkles are on my forehead. I've done some strictly controlled scientific research (by which I mean, I pulled faces in the mirror and took photos) and I have worked out that my forehead and other wrinkles have come from three main activities.
1. Suprise. Usually at something pleasant. ZOMG! THAT CAKE IS HUGE!!!

2. Sceptical. "Oh really? The secret of Eternal Youth you Say? Interesting." Usually followed by some sort of sarcastic and/or witty comment from yours truly. 
My partner suggested a fourth face I pull that makes wrinkles appear, but in the interests of keeping this a PG rated publication, let's not worry about that one for now. 

So.. here's the thing. Being (pleasantly) surprised, being sarcastic and smartarse and laughing are three of my most favourite things. Am I willing to stop doing them so that my wrinkles don't increase? HECK NO. 

Don't get me wrong. I love skincare products and I know there's some doozies out there that can do come great stuff for your skin. I know that a lot of skin damage is caused by the sun and I credit my goth sun-avoiding ways for being in the pretty good shape skin-wise that I am now. I'm not saying we should stop doing all that good stuff.

What I am saying though, is that, if you're lucky.. one day you will be old and wrinkly. This is a gradual process. Try not to hate it - because love it or hate it, it's inevitable. Be a little bit kind with yourself and your body, and respect that as it gets older, it will change.

This doesn't need to be a war, a fight, a struggle.. aging isn't evil, and neither are wrinkles. 

I'm learning to live with, and heck, even love mine. How about you? 


  1. Great post, Omega. After reading this, I just had to go pull faces in the mirror. While doing so, I realised that I like my face better now than I did when I was younger.

    1. That's a great realisation to come to! I'm glad I inspired some other people to pull faces in the mirror, because I'd forgotten how much fun that is to do. Adding it to my daily morning beauty routine now :)

  2. THIS, so fricking much! My creases and my crows feet are from my friends making me smile and because I enjoy life. I'd much rather have happiness than smooth skin!

  3. This is the best post I've read in a long time!

    We're the same age and I agree with you, it's better to age gracefully.

    1. Thank you...

      I am not sure how gracefully I am aging.. I fully intend to be a totally disreputable old lady :)